


That Hollow Ache

by Akira_of_the_Twilight



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Comfort, Depression, Drabble, M/M, OT4, Steve Rogers Centric, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 18:06:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6205333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akira_of_the_Twilight/pseuds/Akira_of_the_Twilight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve couldn’t pinpoint what had triggered it, but one moment he was happy and going about his business unperturbed when a deep and aching sadness panged in his chest. It wasn’t the first time depression had pounced on him like a predator having stalked and cornered its prey, but usually there was something Steve could theorize as a trigger. Sometimes it was a picture of one of the Howling Commandos, sometimes it was conversations with Bucky about their pasts or about Hydra, and sometimes it was caused by spending several hours around a bunch of strangers who were just excited to be around Captain America.</p><p>Steve ran through a list of recent events in his head, but try as he might, none of his normal triggers were present in his memories.</p><p>He was depressed just because he was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Hollow Ache

Steve couldn’t pinpoint what had triggered it, but one moment he was happy and going about his business unperturbed when a deep and aching sadness panged in his chest. It wasn’t the first time depression had pounced on him like a predator having stalked and cornered its prey, but usually there was something Steve could theorize as a trigger. Sometimes it was a picture of one of the Howling Commandos, sometimes it was conversations with Bucky about their pasts or about Hydra, and sometimes it was caused by spending several hours around a bunch of strangers who were just excited to be around Captain America.

Steve ran through a list of recent events in his head, but try as he might, none of his normal triggers were present in his memories.

He was depressed just because he was.

Steve shook his head, not willing to let himself be defeated by such a simple emotion. He double-checked his schedule to see that his afternoon was free, and then switched into his sweats. He walked the crowded city streets until he reached a park where he could run for the next hour.

Exercise kept him busy—kept him from thinking about things that would only further his depression—and Tony had once explained to him something about chemicals in the brain being released that would encourage happiness.

Steve’s hour of running turned into two, and for the first five minutes after his run he felt great. Soon afterward though, the sickly feeling of sorrow and loneliness clung to him like tar.

It wasn’t until he was back at the tower that Steve could admit to himself that maybe he needed a little help with the ache and heavy weight in his chest.

“FRIDAY, what are Bucky, Clint, and Tony doing right now?” Steve inquired about his boyfriends.

“Bucky and Clint are at a shooting range with the intent to prove who has the better aim the last I heard. Tony is currently at Stark Industries. Would you like me to contact him?”

Steve hesitated. Talking to Tony would help, but he didn’t want to interfere with Tony’s work either. “No, but thank you.”

“I could also attempt to contact Bucky and Clint. If they are done at the shooting range then they might answer.”

Steve shrugged, feigning nonchalance when really his sorrow was burrowing into him even more. “You can try.” Steve doubted either Clint or Bucky would answer.

“One moment, please,” FRIDAY answered.

Several seconds passed.

“I’m sorry, but they did not answer,” FRIDAY said.

“It was a good shot,” Steve said and headed to the couch. He sighed as he lay across the cushions. A voice in the back of his head told him he should probably get out of his sweat drenched clothes before lying on the couch, but he just couldn’t bring himself to care.

Steve closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and let himself rest. He hoped a nap would cure him of his emotional state.

When Steve woke, it was to the sound clattering pots and pans in the kitchen and Bucky and Clint’s muffled voices.

Grumbling to himself, Steve pushed himself off the couch and headed toward his boyfriends, still feeling the pang and hollowness of his depression even after resting.

“Let’s just make spaghetti,” Bucky said. “It’s easy and simple.”

“We’ve had that how many times this week already? I am so sick of spaghetti,” Clint said. “It’s only one step above ramen at this point.”

One of their stomachs growled.

Bucky sighed. “I’m too hungry to wait for anything that will take more than five minutes to cook.”

Clint sighed. “Me too. I want take out, but the bet…” Clint trailed off.

Steve smiled as he entered the kitchen. “Another bet, huh? So that’s why you and Bucky have been eating in more, and here I thought it was because you two missed having a home cooked meal.”

“It seemed so easy when we agreed to it,” Bucky said forlornly. “Two weeks without eating out. We haven’t even gone a full week yet and we hate it.”

Clint eyed Steve. “You okay?”

Steve cocked his head. “Don’t I look okay?”

“Honestly?” Clint marched across the kitchen and threw his arms around Steve’s neck. “You probably look fine to everyone else, but your shirt still has stains from exercising and you were napping when Bucky and I came home. So either you exercised then took a nap just before we walked in, or you worked yourself extra hard to the point that your shirt became a glorified mop. That only happens when you’re upset, so do you want to talk about it?”

Steve hugged Clint around the waist. “Just feeling a little sad. Nothing to worry about.”

“I think you should let your boyfriends be the judge of that.” Bucky waltzed up to Steve. He tucked his finger under Steve’s chin and guided Steve into a kiss.

Steve smiled into the kiss, appreciating the affection and attention from his boyfriends. It lifted his spirits a little bit. “It just seems silly to talk about it when I don’t know why I’m in such a mood.”

Clint pecked Steve on the cheek. “Wasn’t so silly when you called earlier, or was there a different reason why you called Bucky and me?”

Steve shook his head. “I was just trying to see if I could get it to go away at the time.”

Bucky linked his fingers around Steve’s and tugged Steve toward the living room. “Come on, this sounds like you need some serious physical therapy.”

Clint snickered. “I agree.” He pushed Steve toward the living room. “Back on the couch, Steve.”

Steve rolled his eyes, but inside he felt the claws of his depression unhook and a pleasant warmth spread through him. Delight shot through him when Clint pushed him onto the couch then proceeded to wrap himself around Steve’s left side in a cuddle. Bucky plopped himself on Steve’s right and did his best impersonation of an octopus, forcing Steve in lean backwards and against Bucky.

“FRIDAY, pick out some sappy and hilarious movie for us to watch while we take care of Steve,” Bucky told the AI. “Also, order a pizza or something.”

“What about your bet?” Steve asked.

“We’re starving, Steve,” Clint said. “We need food and you need us. The bet is just going to be declared a loss.”

Just then the doors to the penthouse opened and Tony entered the room.

Tony yanked his tie loose as he took in the scene. A small frown of confusion formed on his face to be replaced by a smirk.

Tony finished taking off his tie and tossed it aside as he dashed across the room and onto Steve’s lap. He threw his arms around Steve’s neck and kissed Steve on the forehead. “Awesome. I get the lap. I always love the lap.”

Steve chuckled, his forehead bumping against Tony’s chest. “You’re ridiculous. All three of you.”

“It’s why you love us.” Clint tugged down the collar of Steve’s shirt and kissed his clavicle.

“That, and we’re pretty,” Bucky said.

Belly laughter poured out Steve.

His boyfriends always knew exactly what to say and do to cheer him up.


End file.
